A practical guide for a difficult task

Write an obituary that feels true to their life.

There is no perfect way to hold a whole person in a few paragraphs. Begin with one detail and one memory at a time.

Begin the worksheet Open blank worksheet (PDF)

A simple structure

Start with what matters most.

Begin with the essentials.
Full name, age, place of residence, date of death, and—only if desired—the cause of death.
Tell the shape of their life.
Where they came from, work they valued, people they loved, interests, faith, service, and the qualities others will remember.
Name the people around them.
List close family who died before them and those who survive them. Ask relatives to help verify names and spellings.
Share service information.
Include visitation, funeral or memorial details, and whether the gathering is public or private.
Close with remembrance.
Offer a sentence that sounds like them, a brief gratitude, or information about flowers, memorial gifts, or a cause they loved.

A place to begin

Gather the pieces before writing the paragraphs.

Use these prompts privately in your browser or print the blank worksheet. Nothing entered here is sent or saved.

The name they were known byThe people and relationships that mattered mostThree qualities that felt unmistakably theirsA story, phrase, habit, or detail you want rememberedWork, service, faith, interests, or communitiesService details and memorial preferences

Your entries print from this browser only. Nothing is sent or saved.

For the hours after the writing

You may be carrying more than anyone can see.

Wherever you live in the United States, TeleConnect can securely connect you with a First Hour peer mentor who understands profound loss. In-person support is also available in Louisville.

First session freePeer support from lived experienceAll beliefs welcome

Talk with someone who understands or call (502) 791-9938

You can return when you're ready

Grief does not follow a publishing deadline.

Finishing an obituary may bring relief, exhaustion, numbness, or a new wave of sorrow. Whatever comes next, you do not have to make sense of it alone.

Learn about First Hour →