Good grief. It almost sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? Can anything good come from grief? From mourning a deep loss? From weeping beneath a heartache so heavy it changes the way you move through the world?
Grief is NOT good because the person we love is gone. It is NOT good because death, decay, disappointment, and separation are part of this broken world. No one longs to grieve. No one asks for the sleepless nights, the aching chest, the foggy thoughts, or the sudden weeping that arrives without warning.
Grief can announce itself at the most inopportune time, can’t it? I recall one instance when the proverbial rug was pulled from under my feet. My husband and I were on a very rare day trip to a small town not far away. We were enjoying good food, slow and meaningful conversation at the quaint coffee shop, when I saw someone who reminded me so much of my son. Hair length, scruffy beard, same height and similar build. And for a brief millisecond, I saw HIM. What a heartbreaking memory.
Even though these intermittent episodes can cause so much angst, grief CAN become a place where we encounter God in ways we may not have known Him before. In the second beatitude—a promise Jesus made about God’s Kingdom—Jesus said:
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 ESV
That does not mean mourning feels like a blessing. It means those who mourn are not forgotten by God. Their tears are seen. Their pain matters. And comfort is not withheld from them.
Good grief. Maybe it is not grief itself that is good, but what God can bring forth within it. No one appreciates rain quite like someone who has lived through a drought. We can’t understand the gift of a meal quite like someone who has been hungry.
And perhaps no one knows God as Comforter quite like someone who has desperately needed comfort.
Wow…
The Holy Spirit is called our Comforter, Helper, Counselor, and Advocate. Those are not distant titles. They reveal the heart of a God who comes near. He does not stand at a safe distance and ask us to hurry through our sorrow. He meets us in the middle of it—in the questions, the anger, the loneliness, and the moments we do not have words to pray.
God often comforts us through His Spirit, through His Word, and through His people. Sometimes His comfort feels unmistakable. This peace was very evident when my very ill parents both passed. Their suffering had lasted so long!
Other times, it comes quietly: the courage to get out of bed, the ability to laugh without guilt, a person who sits beside us without trying to fix us, or a verse we have read before that suddenly feels written for our hurting heart.
Good grief.
Not because loss is good.
Not because we would ever choose it.
But because grief can become holy ground when we realize God has not abandoned us there.
If you are mourning today, you do not have to pretend you are okay. You do not have to make your pain look tidy or rush toward healing.
Jesus Himself promised comfort. He is still good.
He is still faithful.
And even here—even in this sorrow—He is with you.
Grief is inevitable: there will be a time in your journey when it has to be faced. Whether we call it “good” and the meaning of that is up to you and me.