For friends and family
Helping someone who is grieving
Most people worry about saying the wrong thing. Begin simply: acknowledge the loss, use the person’s name when it feels natural and listen without trying to explain what happened or make the pain disappear.
Words that leave room for grief
- “I am so sorry.”
- “I don’t know what to say, but I care about you.”
- “Would you like to tell me about them?”
- “How is today?”
Offer something specific
- Bring a meal in a container that does not need to be returned.
- Offer a particular errand, school pickup, lawn task or hour of childcare.
- Sit with them, take a walk or help organize information without taking control.
- Respect a no. Grief can make even welcome company feel like too much on some days.
Stay after the first days
Support often becomes quiet after the funeral. Put birthdays, holidays and the date of death on your calendar. A brief message—“I’m remembering them with you today”—can matter months and years later.
Avoid explanations and comparisons
Phrases such as “everything happens for a reason,” “you have to be strong” or “I know how you feel” can close the conversation. You do not have to find a lesson in the loss. You can simply remain present.