There is still part of me that just doesn’t believe it’s possible. 

How can my dear one be gone? 

How can a person so full of life, warmth, and possibility, disappear just…like…THAT…? 

Being able to move forward is difficult when we are thrown back and forth into these episodes of shock and sudden realization. Today, I am allowing myself to mourn and weep and accept the possibility that it is just going to take me a while longer to reclaim who I used to be.  The poem below speaks to these feelings. 

“The dew is heavy on this late summer morn, the gossamer webs across the grass are weighed down and sparkling with the sunrise light. 

Then, seemingly, suddenly, the heat from the atmosphere envelops the landscape, and the webs no longer are in sight.

So much the same are my mind and heart,  as I awake with hope at dawn. 

But then, out of nowhere, the burning recall comes forth, the most dreaded is true:  he is gone. 

Why, oh why, my beloved one?  Dear God, where has he gone?   Just one more day, please? I wasn’t ready, you see, for the unimaginable to find me, all alone.”