Sometimes I don’t grieve.

Sometimes I just… don’t.

I tuck the loss into a small, hidden place inside, a place without windows, without clocks.  Sometimes, ignoring it is best. 

I leave it alone, and turn away when it rears its ugly head, because facing it would mean the unraveling of my soul!  I walk around it like it’s a sleeping animal I am afraid to wake. I work too much. I doom scroll on the phone. I buy things I don’t need. I drink my coffee a little faster.  Anything to convince myself that ignoring it is best. Anything to keep my hands busy. Anything to keep my heart still.

The world says face it and move on. Sometimes the wound is still too raw, still bleeding under the bandage I pretend is enough. Sometimes the only brave thing left is to say: Not now. I cannot bear it now. And that’s not weakness. It’s knowing my own limits. It’s knowing that not all storms can be stood in. I breathe, tightly close my eyes and whisper to myself:  Later. I will be strong and face it later. 

If today you are ignoring it — the missing voice, the empty chair, the quiet ache — I am with you. We are the ones learning that even silence is a kind of mourning. That even the act of NOT feeling is a way to love what is lost. We are the ones carrying invisible things, and somehow, still walking. Sometimes, ignoring it is best. 

#GriefJourney

#CopingWithLoss

#HealingTakesTime

#GriefInSilence

#SelfCompassion

#ItsOkayToNotBeOkay

#WritingThroughGrief

#TenderSurvival

#InvisibleGrief

#MentalHealthAwareness