There is no way that two people have the exact same relationship with a third.  This is evident when people grieve the death of child or another loved one.

A mother has a longer relationship with a child than does a father.  Fathers could never survive the nine month pregnancy and childbirth.  After all, men are the weaker gender.

Parents who face the death of a child should expect to mourn differently.  The change in their lives is monumental and devastating.  As they plow through the quicksand of grief, attempting to survive the next minute or day or week, they probably find themselves at different places in their respective grief journeys.  Couples must allow for these differences or else they will experience conflicts adding to their grief.

A weak marriage might implode and strong marriage will be shaken.  This is a time husband and wife must work and pray and walk together to reach a level of sanity and acceptance.

We experienced strains in some relationships.  People were at a loss for words to express their condolences.  Some said the wrong or inappropriate things.  Others ignored that our son had died.  For every person who turned away or from whom we turned, there was at least one who held out a helping hand, a hug, a prayer or a thoughtful comment.  Some longtime friends became strangers.  Some strangers became strong friends.

Family dynamics are altered.  Children miss their sibling.  Holidays and birthdays become different.  The happy celebrations are muted.  For a time.  Life continues for those still living.  The one who is missing is missed and there is a hole in the family fabric.  Never to be filled.  Never to be replaced.

God.  I yelled at Him.  I argued with Him.  I cried, tried to cut a deal, negotiated and asked Him a million times: “Why? “  For a while, I walked away. He did not and when I turned toward Him, He was there, waiting with open arms.  A relationship that has gotten stronger.

Time does not heal all wounds.  Time just rolls along.  Healing takes effort.  Healing takes a lot of work.  Healing needs help from others.

Feel the need to share? 

If you would like to share your story on our blog or privately with one of our grief counselors, please submit it to us through the Contact page.

*If you would like your story shared publicly on our blog, please omit, or replace names of person’s that have not consented to their name being used. With your permission and upon review, we will do what we can to share as many people’s stories as possible. 

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