Grief conjures a multitude of feelings and emotions. Sadness, pain, anger, confusion, shock. If you were caretaker to your loved one who was suffering a long or chronic illness, feelings of relief aren’t unusual, following their death. We are relieved that the daily, taxing tasks that may have stretched us to our limits have ended. We also most certainly are glad that our beloved no longer suffers!
But, unfortunately, feelings of relief aren’t easily admitted, maybe because this admission makes us feel ashamed. If we admit to such a relief, it’s as if we are saying we are happy our loved one is gone.
The only way to process this experience of relief and the shame we may feel about it is to concede to it—to permit ourselves the freedom to feel this without reprimand. Hiding this can cause even more pain, allowing the secret thoughts to fester. Disclosing this to a couple of trusted folks can be the very best medicine in the world!
Accepting the feelings as neither good nor bad is necessary—judging because of “feelings” is a fallacy. Our actions are only what merits judgment.
So…what do we do from here? Accept the feelings of relief…figure out what action, if any, is needed…yield and rest in the knowledge that the One who made us, gave us these normal, human emotions. The following link lends more to the caregiver of the elderly, but will most likely be helpful for someone caring for a loved one at any age.
And as always, if we can help in any way, please comment, click on the contact tab on the first page of the website, or call.