When my friend Cora attended her first grief group meeting, she entered with long-felt emotions of dread and anxiety. She had no idea what to expect from these folks, and she feared her nervousness about being around others in the same boat would not be the answer to her prayers. What if she said too much? What if she held back and this whole trip was a waste of time? She had suffered alone, with no one to pour her heart out to, for too long. She needed to put it all out there—Cora knew deep down inside that this was going to help her with the weight of the grief of the loss of her husband. Something HAD to give. 

It was her turn to share. After she unloaded her burden of the anger, guilt, and regret, the group was quiet for a spell, allowing whoever felt so led to speak, whether it be questions or advice or commiserations to hopefully assure Cora that she had done the best thing by opening up her wounded heart. A major and all too common feeling she shared with the group was the assumption that in order to have any semblance of joy again, she had to put the memory of her husband behind her. Forget him completely…

But healing isn’t about forgetting your person, or putting them in a box on a shelf, never to be remembered because it just hurts too much. Healing is about learning how to bring them into your life in a new way. We cannot feel their touch or hear their voice, but their spirit and memory are alive forever.  We all need to be reminded of this. It seems like such a simple truth, but when we are in the valley of the shadow of death, our hearts and minds can play tricks on us—even lie to us about what the truth really is!  Read more about how we can move forward without losing them again in this article. And please, know that you are welcome to attend any of the group meetings we have in the area, or if you feel more at ease meeting one on one, we are here for that, too.