“I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free reign to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.” Job 10:1
Emotions of every kind are obviously components of the grieving process. Grief is capable of manifesting strong feelings, flowing from love and joy, to anger and regret.
Anger is the one I want to address at this moment.
Have you ever felt so angry with God that you can’t imagine that you ever trusted in Him at all for anything? He is the one in control—HE is the One who allowed my beloved to die! Job is the best example of this this often ignored emotion. Why is it overlooked? I believe it’s because we are afraid to admit that we are angry with God, for fear that we will be struck down, or harshly judged immediately for questioning his authority or decisions. We feel betrayed because he let the one we love die. Usually, our anger is being manifested because of other feelings of guilt about something we did or didn’t do, or because of regret because we feel we could’ve done more for or with our loved one. Do we have that control though?
The best remedy for our anger, of course, is to work through these feelings and talking to God Himself about it. Maybe physical activity like running, boxing, working on chores in the yard, cleaning house, will help us hone in on the root of our thoughts and feelings. Maybe hashing it all out with a trusted friend or loved one that we can talk with openly and honestly, will help us work through it. Seeking the help of a professional is also a viable option and nothing to be ashamed of.
But telling God how we feel, in my opinion, does more for the soul and helps us pave a pathway to reconciliation. After all, God is the one who gave us these feelings! He didn’t turn his back on Job when he voiced his rage. And my goodness, did Job have much to be upset about!
Talk to Him—I don’t know that we will necessarily hear an actual audible voice, but what I have found most often is that he speaks through scripture, something I’m reading in a book, or through the sage advice of a trusted confidante. Only when we are truly honest with our Creator will the layer of anger begin to heal.