Never Normal

I’ve seen a number of memes and posts the last couple of weeks about how a year ago, it was the last week of things being “normal,” pre-c@vid19. 

The world didn’t change much for me after that microscopic virus invaded our lives. Once my son left for Heaven in May of 2019, everything came to a crashing halt—my routine, my schedule, who I was when I looked in the mirror.  I was forced into a strange, lonely, scary existence that I didn’t ask for!  

It wasn’t just because of his unexpected, tragic death, but also because of the sudden, cruel attack on my body of an invisible disease that I still wrestle with, moment by moment. The burden of loss affects our whole person, from mental to physical, and a slumbering monster was awakened by that stress that no one would wish on their worst enemy.
No more grocery shopping or taking care of my house and family, lunches/coffee with friends ground to a halt, my business all but gone, my life completely upheaved.

So, when we were encouraged to “stay home, stay safe,” in March of 2020, it actually made me feel a little more acknowledged—that folks would get a taste of what I had been feeling for many, many months. 

Fear.  Isolation.  Uncertainty.  Loneliness. 

So forgive me, but I’m giving a big ole eye roll when I see those comments that reflect back to the pre-c@vid days, “remembering when…”  life was “normal.”  Although it has been a very trying and strange year for all of us, it’s nothing some of us haven’t endured since this great big weight of grief, sorrow, and loss came knocking on our door…

Welcome to my world.

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