TIME-OUT! Hold on, there. Whoa! Hold your horses!
I did not sign up for this. I had no time to prepare. It came from out of the blue. Left field. Blindsided!
That is a short list of common phrases we might utter and think, once the fog begins to lift. The initial shock of our loved one’s death takes precedence—it’s a survival tactic, no doubt. Once the reality begins to settle in, denial might be one of your first reactions. Some of us will spend minutes, hours, or days or even years in this phase. I think I fell into the latter group—I spent at least six months in an effort to accept the fact that my son was gone. Oh, I went on with the most necessary routine, but my mind continually drifted, and still does, to be honest! I truly feel like I am in a dream, a zombie, in a horrible, cruel haze of loss, that just won’t lift! I breathe, then I remember…
I can’t put my finger on any specific action or memory or task that helped draw me forward—no verse or prayer or book. I suppose it could be a culmination of everything. Once the shapes around me seemed real again, the denial took its place in the line of emotions on the conveyor belt of loss. The reality of the horrible, unthinkable thing seeps in. Thanks a lot, Grief! I wish I never knew you.
But life is made of stages: progression and backsliding. Every step, whether affirmative or negative, has its place and purpose in our journey. We don’t usually have a choice as to what events occur on our path. We simply make the next best one, and pray for good results. At least that’s what I’ve found. This article is a good one for this stage of grief. And remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Please let me know if I can support you!