When it comes to visiting the resting place of our loved one, there are varying levels of what is helpful or even culturally appropriate. When my elder brother passed, my mother took fresh flowers every week, stood over the spot, and cried. Eventually, the visits lessened, until she was physically unable to attend and express her grief, sorrow, and love. We did our best to continue her wishes, but life happened, we got too busy with our own lives, and it fell by the wayside.
My own son has been gone 2 years. I go one or two times a week, drink coffee, play music, and stare at where his precious body lies. I keep waiting for it to seem real. Even though all evidence proves his earthly vessel is there, it’s like my brain won’t accept it, even now, as we enter the third year of grieving.
The headstone displays his name, the day he was born, the day his soul left this earth, as well as an etched picture of an electric guitar. He was passionate about music and playing. On the back of the stone is a verse (John 16:33) and also lists me and his dad, and his brothers, as well.
Some may feel visits to the cemetery are pointless, but for many, like me, it provides a place to feel an openness to my grief, and allows sacred moments where we can focus solely on our loved one, as well as take time to look inward and perhaps assess where we are on our journey.
The article below gives four practical ways that visiting a loved ones resting place may help. I hope you feel free to share your own thoughts in the comments below!